Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
