god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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