I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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