Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
