is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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