It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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