Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
