I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
