there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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