Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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