Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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