You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
