Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
