so that wasnt chicken after all
he wants to bone in the snuggie
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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