Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
