He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The ass gains better be worth it
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