proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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