I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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