when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize