think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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