The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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