I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
