Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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