another moral hangover. fuck.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
