The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm too high and old for this...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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