Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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