Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize