her vagine was all disorganized.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
