The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You pole danced in your parka.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
