so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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