so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
