You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Please, let me fuck your mom
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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