Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
