Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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