Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
