Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
