glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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