my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
