nut hugger
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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