i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
