We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
