the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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