literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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