Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
