i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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