If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
