Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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