She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
