hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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