How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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