The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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