Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
