Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
