You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Randomize
