i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
