It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
