I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
