oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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