Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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