OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
