Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
