It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
