Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
