hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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